So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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