ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
