apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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