we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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