My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
