Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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