i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
