That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
