We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
