it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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