I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
