just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
