I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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