Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
