I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
