we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
