the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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