I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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