Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
