I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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