can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My bed smells like the plague
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
