My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
