my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
