You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
