Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
