Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
