no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
