I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
