Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
