we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
