Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Pants are for mortals
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
