I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
