How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
