How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
