# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
