yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
