Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
