Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
