genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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