i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
