I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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