we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
