Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
