it hurts more in the daytime
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm like, not good at living.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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