And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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