I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
