We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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