thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
