ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
