Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
