I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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