I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
